btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
