im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
