wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
