How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
