I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
