I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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