I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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