There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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