babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
