Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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