Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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