Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
