I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
