god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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