yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
