she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
