Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
