So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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