We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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