I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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