Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize