I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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