The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
being pregnant is like rehab
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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