Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
