She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
