One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
