um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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