Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
