My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
