Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
