Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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