No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
