I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
