I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
