I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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