he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
