i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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