508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
