he shaved USA in his pubs
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize