I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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