i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
His nipple licking is glorious
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