you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
