I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
