I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
