She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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