Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
