omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
