you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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