508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
