We're facebook friends in real life
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
