Dual....:-)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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