There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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