I heard we made out
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
