he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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