I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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