and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
