Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
