Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
