Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
